Girl! You Need To Be Brave.

After a long morning appeared quite serene, full of calmness and reverence but my mind was busy with some kind of deep cogitation running and puzzling through. All this had made up to me even before I had peeped out of the cozy couch of mine. The series of silence I found  broken by the viciousness of the time which was stalking at me from the distance not too far than where humanity was buried alive. It took me a month to respond but some feeling when  left to hibernate come up nevertheless  with resistance too. While I got busy in studying the mind, my eyes excused me for a while and drew my attention on a coin lying on the bedside table. I just started tossing it and in no time it fell down. I was curious to see if I got a head or like any other time it is tail again. Well! I got none just because I lost the coin and my laziness didn’t bother to search it in my room except that one or two min curiosity of spotting head or tail.

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This curiosity of the time took me back to the uproar in December ‘12 after a brutal incident that took place in  the capital of India. As a human I too felt the worst of what any living soul would have but then something more was there which actually was boggling my mind. This isn’t the one case to mention there are loads of files pending in the dust of the store which are left for the spider to weave webs and the insects to relish their food and many of such cases haven’t even made in the files and all these people are living in the world which have not been of any support to them. Well marches aren’t where the buck stops, petitions are not where life will push to restart, the most important thing is how society, how you, how me, how all of us are going to accept this very human being. Take my word tomorrow you, why you only even me, will be again talking at the back, O’ look! She is the girl who faced the assault and then we will share a word of pity and move on. This is what we have been doing till now. If something needs to refresh with law it’s  the thinking of the common person. It’s up to you and me how we will accept them, who will marry them and gift them new life. With these thoughts I finally decided to leave the bed, get fresh and then have a cup of tea.

While I was enjoying my cup of tea and turning the newspaper to just read the headlines out it, I had a brief look at the clock, it was already too late, the 9’O clock. I just couldn’t wait to let the tea finish but ran to my room for studying. My books were staring at me as if the hunger struck lion. By this time I understood I have to study vigorously. I was trying hard to concentrate but my heart was sinking me in thoughts of every girl who at one or other stage had faced eve teasing, mental harassment, or why not any stray comment that too by a passerby or even a bus conductor. I was by this caught in a small incident which actually wasn’t that small.

It’s an incident which took place some 2- 4 years back when I was just a student of 12th. One fine morning I was all set to leave for my school and the flush of joy of youthful days was condensing through my eyes. My dearest friend accompanying me and we were waiting for a bus at a very busy place. A girl of my own locality too was there too but before we would greet her a boy came up to her, “Hey! You are so damn too worried about your reputation, right? Yesterday your dad showered hard on me just because I like you. Now see, reach your place I will show you how to sell your reputation and character  of which you are too proud of”. On hearing this she started crying and rushed back to her place and with this the whole locality came to know the bitter truth.

The roadside Romeo with great “ Tashan” moved down the lane as a villain of the Hindi cinema who’s is proud of actually nothing and there his collar was held by the girl’s older brother. She belonged to a very noble family couldn’t have ever imagined of such incident to happen and everyone getting interested to know about the story rather than punishing a boy for his worst kind of punishment. Before any opportunity to say anything, the first shoe hurled at his head which was of her father I got brief content in the heart, then he got the worst beating from the neighbors as well.  Everyone knew about the girl and the purity of her character very well. He was dragged to the police station was left there naked and starved for the night which in itself was quite enough to get the love fever down. Now the reason is why I shared this piece. Just because of three reasons:

  • United punishment of even the minor incident gave him a lifetime lesson and to many other boys who could have ever bought same thought in mind. If we get control on these little incidents, big won’t happen. We should not be selective in response to such incidents.
  • Most important thing that day I learned “Girl! Never hide such things from your parents”. If anyone is chasing you, harassing or anything which you are resisting share it with your parents they are good ones who will understand.
  • Dear parent stay friendly with your children so that they never will feel hard to share anything to you.

This still is not the end of the play which started much before in my head and left me scratching my head to study but couldn’t because all was pouring and echoing therein. I kept thinking will this all end up there? The answer from the red fist size mass came “No”. Then I thought of another situation that is gender biasing. Yes! One of the most poorest thing that is breeding since ages in our societies. It can’t be sliced all of sudden but can be ended step by step time and time again.

Let us all collectively bring the change. Let us not be silent about the things happening around. Let us build our values stone by stone again. See it’s not about religion, it isn’t even about any culture, it doesn’t happen just in place one. It happens every where, every place, every hour, every minute rather every second a girl faces wrong. Yes at last I would like to mention “Girl at one stage or another you yourself  have to be strong”. Don’t encourage what is happening around just fight to it.

 This time never waits for my thoughts to end. Ah! I was just calming down the inner emotions the one that were overflowing and this disloyal clock of mine had by now conquered hour’s distance, it was 10’O clock! O’ God it costed me so high. Before I end I thought to be little more open hearted person and give few more minutes to clock and share some lines from my poem “Flower of the Garden” which goes like :

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Pride and Decorum of the gardener,

Adding beauty and an exquisite to the garden.

Fragrance of it, the sign of purity,
Ascent it’s of the dignity.

Nothing more the soul of the flower asks,
Let it free and fly as long as its flight will last.  

~A.N

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22 thoughts on “Girl! You Need To Be Brave.

  1. fabulous piece of write up..!!message conveyed indeed in a beautiful way.!! But here,I would like to mention some thing,,please don’t take it in a wrong notion,no matter in today’s society boys(not to call them so,but apt would be hooligans,scoundrels) are on rampage,,I completely accept that..! but simultaneously girls too are playing their part in supporting such incidents,,like the way u mentioned,in one of your 3 advises,,a girl should never keep anything under-carpet regarding these matters & should tell her family members about the same,,But unfortunately,all girls are not alike my sister..,some take it as a pleasure that,really they have been passed a comment by a passer by,,while some feel pride in this,,as if some award or a nobel prize sort of thing is being handed over to them,unfortunately such type of girls also do exist in our society( KASHMIRI society,to mention,in particular)..
    Few years back I was going for my tuition classes,,I still remember the day,it was in the afternoon as I was walking through my locality,3 girls were walking in opposite direction & when they were about to cross me,I didn’t look at them,kept my gaze down,but Wallahi,Allah tala chu gawa,one among them pushed the other one so hard that she collided with me & I was thrown to the wall as it was the side of a road & beside me was a wall,,Before that I heard them talking””Oye de na daka de deyna,deyna.””” what level of insanity is this.?? were they really girls or what???? how would one describe them?? This is just to bring your attention that,in our society which was selected by saints long ago,to be their place of worship,””reshwaer/pirwaer””” as u call it,, but unfortunately we have degraded ourselves to such an extent,that now a days, our youth both boys and girls & on top of them it’s their parents who are responsible for all the nonsense,vulgar & subhuman level stuff is dwelling in our society,

    This gives me a chance to mention it here that,,all these BF/GF relationships are the root cause for all this non-sense & I fail to understand that from where do they take up such tings which are totally described as HARAAM in our deen.Answer is much simple,,it’s their parents who haven’t told them about such acts of indecency before they fall in such illegitimate relationships,and you won’t believe it I’ve heard in many lectures of My shaykh Mufti Nazir Qasmi sahb..that some parents positively encourage their daughters/sons to have these kind of relationships,& worst part of it is that when it comes to break-up all things then come up at that time.In our deen it is permissible if you like someone,& they like you too,,but immediately you have to approach the wali of the daughter,& if he wills then only you can marry the girl if it’s mutual consent otherwise no zabardasti at all..!! As a youth you have to be strong, try our best to remain unblemished whether girl/boy(girls in particular,,,while dealing with such matters).

    You have beautiffuly chosen the theme of the write-up “” Girl you need to be brave”””” WELL DONE Blessings..

  2. Moreover being in these relationships has another impact on our society i.e immodesty & shamelessness that has taken it’s course..!! I think it’s pertinent to mention it here this thing An expression used by Shaykh Muhammad Hussein Ya’qub to describe the single young girl who doesn’t have a intimate relationship with a boy but who lives a love relationship with him through net, chat, phone … Virginity doesn’t only mean the virginity of the body but it includes also the virginity of the heart : feelings, emotions. There is only one man who deserves the warm feelings and the passionate love of a Muslimah: her husband,,any other man than him is just a source of Fintnah and calamity for her in Dunya
    Today, in the name of freedom of the woman, the people who claimed to be “civilized” killed the title:“virgin” to replace it by “mistress” or “experienced in love” ! They are calling for “freedom of the woman” by killing everything beautiful in her : her chastity, shyness, purity …
    one should always be pure and chaste in this time of big fitnah which was described by our beloved Prophet sallaAllahu alaihi wa sallam in this Hadith:” Abu Musa Al-Ash’ari narrated that Prophet Mohammad صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Between the hands of (meaning Close to) the Hour (of Resurrection), there will be Fitan (strifes, trials&tribulations) like segments (or periods) of dark night(…)”(Ibn Maja)……!!I read it somewhere,thought of sharing it here,,!!

  3. Hmmm, I must say dat valuable piece of ur advices will b so helpfull fr gals, first as u said dnt hesitate to report to ur parents if anyone z teasing u bfr it z too late, nvr hide it

  4. I really appreciate this Piece, Keep this pace going and I wish you Gods speed for everything that you plan to accomplish in life. Good Luck

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